Thursday, December 30, 2010

....that would be you!

props again to seth godin.....


The world's worst boss

That would be you.
Even if you're not self-employed, your boss is you. You manage your career, your day, your responses. You manage how you sell your services and your education and the way you talk to yourself.
Odds are, you're doing it poorly.
If you had a manager that talked to you the way you talked to you, you'd quit. If you had a boss that wasted as much as your time as you do, they'd fire her. If an organization developed its employees as poorly as you are developing yourself, it would soon go under.
I'm amazed at how often people choose to fail when they go out on their own or when they end up in one of those rare jobs that encourages one to set an agenda and manage themselves. Faced with the freedom to excel, they falter and hesitate and stall and ultimately punt.
We are surprised when someone self-directed arrives on the scene. Someone who figures out a way to work from home and then turns that into a two-year journey, laptop in hand, as they explore the world while doing their job. We are shocked that someone uses evenings and weekends to get a second education or start a useful new side business. And we're envious when we encounter someone who has managed to bootstrap themselves into happiness, as if that's rare or even uncalled for.
There are few good books on being a good manager. Fewer still on managing yourself. It's hard to think of a more essential thing to learn.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

maybe.....

"Maybe" by Sick Puppies

Maybe I'm a dreamer
Maybe I'm misunderstood
Maybe you're not seeing the side of me you should
Maybe I'm crazy
(Maybe I'm crazy)
Maybe I'm the only one
(Maybe I'm the only one)
Maybe I'm just out of touch
Maybe I've just had enough

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

Maybe it's hopeless
(Maybe it's hopeless)
Maybe I should just give up
(Maybe I should just give up)
What if I can't trust myself?
What if I just need some help?

Maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try

And maybe it's time to change
And leave it all behind
I've never been one to walk alone
I've always been scared to try
So why does it feel so wrong
To reach for something more
To wanna live a better life
What am I waiting for?
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change
'Cause nothing stays the same
Maybe it's time to change

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

k is for....


it would be fair to call me this! and a kook ;)

i've been sort of moving, well, moving out for sure, the past 2 weeks.... and lacking  serious internet access and time, though not content or inspiration.....

i am a planner by nature. i plan TOO much. this lack of control and ability to plan messes with my head a little. these things make me kranky!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

+/-

"You are a living magnet. What you attract into your life is in harmony with your dominant thoughts."... Brian Tracy 

Thursday, December 9, 2010

saving face

"Saving My Face" KT Tunstall

See the look on my face
From staying too long in one place
But every time I try to leave
I find I keep on stalling
Feel like a big old stone
Standing by a strength of my own
But every time the morning breaks
I know I'm closer to falling

I'm all out of love, all out of faith
I would give everything just for a taste
Everything's here, all out of place
Losing my memory, saving my face
Saving my face, saving my face
Saving my face.

Listening to what you say
Even though I look the other way
You could never understand the feeling
Of what I'm leaving

I'm all out of love, all out of faith
I would give everything just for a taste
Everything's here, all out of place
Losing my memory, saving my face

Saving my face...

Whoa, ooh...

Leave it all to me
I will do the right thing
Baby I'll be everything I need
Leave it all to me
I will do the right thing
Baby I'll be everything I need
Leave it all to me
I will do the right thing
Do the right thing

I'm all out of love, all out of faith
I would give everything just for a taste

Everything's here, all out of place
Losing my memory, I'm losing the best of me.

I'm all out of love, all out of faith
I would give everything just for a taste
Everything's here, all out of place
Losing my memory, saving my face
Saving my face...

Whoa, ooh... 

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

wotd

after on and off living together for 7 years, my roomie and i are parting ways as i head off to new adventures. still to be unknown.....

last year we had her urban dictionary word of the day calendar up  and had a collection of words we liked on display in the kitchen. as we packed up our things i felt it necessary to document or memorialize them. silly i know.

but its a good excuse to play with my hipstomatic camera just the same.....



not a bachelor pad. a maxi pad


it works for us
the best kind

who? me?!

haha
ouch. douchebags and assholes.

if you don't remember it it didnt happen!

and your mission, if you so chose to accept it....

"here is the test to find out whether or not your mission on earth is finished: if you are alive, it isn't"... richard bach

i am not sure what my mission is right now. but i am on a mission to find my mission...

courtesy of dept of defense website.....

Sunday, December 5, 2010

WANT!

THIS!!!!

genius = happiness squared...

i was sent this quote recently.....it got me thinking, and, off on a search to find out maybe what einstein's "goals" were. but i ended up just blown away by his geniusness on many a subject. not sure why i am so surprised... but i've now added a bunch of his books to my wish list! 

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." - Einstein. 


A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer. 

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.  

A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. 

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. 

Monday, November 29, 2010

"wow" (aka - words of wisdom!)

courtesy of my friend sean's status today:

Take chances. Tell the truth. Date someone totally wrong for you. Say no. Spend all your cash! Fall in love. Get to know someone random. Be random. Say I love you. Sing out loud. Laugh at a stupid joke. Cry. Get revenge. Apologize. Tell someone how much they mean to you. Tell the asshole what you feel. Let someone know what they're missing. Laugh til your stomach hurts. LIVE LIFE!



i liked it ;)

Monday, November 22, 2010

run lola run....

"you can out-distance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you."...rwandan proverb




i have always loved running long distances. having a set goal, the end of that road, or this many laps or miles; challenging myself to a greater distance. loved the steady pace, the steady breathing, the pushing through the pain.  the ability to speed up to sweat out the anger or slow down and enjoy a moment. but there was always a beginning. an end. a goal i was certain of and could accomplish. and i ran to it.


life is a little more open ended then that. in case you hadn't noticed. how do you really know if you're running to something or away from something? is either right or wrong? and what is it that drives that run motivation? 


and maybe? maybe i could learn a lesson from my ortho surgeon who says not to run, just walk.....

Sunday, November 21, 2010

sleep to dream...

"if you stop dreaming you are just asleep"....unknown

i loved this when i read it. then i sat and really thought about it. 

i have had some REALLY bad nightmares. and some REALLY good dreams. i'd always rather have a nightmare, because it's temporary. waking up to reality is usually better. not so much with a good dream...



sleep to dream


and sleep is such a peaceful, and necessary, state.....


and some people, are just dreamers. in the clouds....


where is the balance between dreaming and pursuing those dreams, and living in the now and the reality? how do you know what dreams are worth pursuing, risking, putting energy into? what if you pursue a dream for 15 years and nothing happens, are you wrong to give up? wrong to have pursued so long in the first place, or right for believing in your dream despite challenges or lack of success. i mean, i am guessing here that "man" had a dream to get to space for more than 15 years before it actually happened, right? 


dream within a dream


have you ever had the same dream twice? and in the dream realized you were dreaming? i think i have (had) that awake as well....






1dream

 noun, often attributive \ˈdrÄ“m\

Definition of DREAM

1
: a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep — compare rem sleep
2
: an experience of waking life having the characteristics of a dream: asa : a visionary creation of the imagination : daydreamb : a state of mind marked by abstraction or release from reality : reveriec : an object seen in a dreamlike state : vision
3
: something notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality car is a dream to operate>
4
a : a strongly desired goal or purpose dream of becoming president>b : something that fully satisfies a wish : ideal dream>




Friday, November 19, 2010

i want this!!!

the WORD posted a blog about this ridiculously cool book!

Tree of Codes


An enormous last day of life.
“Jonathan Safran Foer, deftly deploys sculptural means to craft a truly compelling story. In our world of screens, he welds narrative, materiality, and our reading experience into a book that remembers that it actually has a body.”
–Olafur Eliasson
Our early conversations with Jonathan Safran Foer aboutTree of Codes started when Jonathan said he was curious to explore and experiment with the die-cut technique. With that as our mutual starting point, we spent many months of emails and phone calls, exploring the idea of the pages’ physical relationship to one another and how this could somehow be developed to work with a meaningful narrative. This led to Jonathan deciding to use an existing piece of text and cut a new story out of it. Having considered working with various texts, Jonathan decided to cut into and out of what he calls his “favourite book”: The Street of Crocodiles by Bruno Schulz.
As Jonathan began to carve out his story, we started doing our production homework and literally got turned down by every printer we approached – their stock line being “the book you want to make just cannot be made”. Thankfully, we found Die Keure in Belgium who relished the challenge of making a book with a different die-cut on every page.
Over a year of writing, cutting and proto-typing later, comesTree of Codes, a haunting new story by Jonathan Safran Foer cut from Bruno Schulz’s words.
The book is as much a sculptural object as it is a work of masterful storytelling: here is an “enormous last day of life” that looks like it feels.
Design by Sara De Bondt Studio
Cover design by 
gray318
Published 15 November 2010
ISBN 978-0-9565692-1-9
Paperback

how insane is this guys mind? in the best way! adding this to the amazon universal wish list now!

Thursday, November 18, 2010

love is...

so well said i wish i said it myself.... ;)


On Love

Love.

I thought I'd tackled this topic before. But no, I'd just talked about The Sex and how it relates to The Love.

I do believe in Love. Love with a capital L.

I do. Just because my experience with it is limited, doesn't mean I don't think it exists. I've seen it.

On of my best friends, Morgan, is getting married. And while she and her imminent husband (her term) may not have seen it, they had this meant-to-be-ness surrounding them from the start.

I don't believe in destiny, but I do believe in timing and chemistry and compatibility and desire and these two have all that in spades. The spark between them was so strong even in the beginning that we all couldn't help but be fall in love with them as a couple.

Morgan expressed some angst recently that friends and fam didn't seem to be surprised or excited enough when they announced their engagement or over wedding plans (I think). But I told her (and I can only speak for myself here) that I hope my excitement translated (I think it did as I squealed over the phone like an 8 year old girl who just got her Barbie Dream House) because I am so excited!

But I was not surprised. Not surprised at all. In fact, I was comforted to know they were making this happen because if these two did not end up together, the world would implode.

These two renew my faith in Love.

I have loved. But have never been loved. I have been told the words. But known they were empty, despite the desire to mean them. Nevertheless, I'm pretty sure I know what it looks like and I know what it doesn't look like. 

I don't believe in destiny. I've said that. So therefore I don't want to be someone's other half. 1 and 1 make 2. We're not incomplete people searching to be whole (thanks, Aristotle). We're whole people all on our own. So I want someone who is great and happy all alone. Who doesn't need me to be happy. But wants me anyway.

Love is not a filler of a void. I have to go back to the idea that you have to fill that yourself, love yourself. Otherwise someone else's love will just wash in and out of that cavity.  Because I think Love is complimentary.  I don't think you can truly love and appreciate someone else until you and appreciate yourself first. I don't think love can survive otherwise.

Love is about balance. I can't be someone's idol and I shouldn't worship someone else. Imbalance just seems to me to be a shoddy way to begin. I want to find my equal. Someone who challenges me in a way I can reciprocate. Someone who loves me with the same force I do.

I don't want to be anyone's doctor. I can't fix what is wrong with you. I can be a kickass listener and I'm supportive to a fault. But my job is not to mend your brokenness. You have to do that work yourself.

Love is not an addiction. So many people struggle with addiction to substances, why is addiction to a person so encouraged? If it's not a healthy relationship, then it's not love.

Love is between adults. I'm not looking to parent anyone and I'm not looking for a parent. I didn't get the mother I deserved, but I also don't deserve to replace her with a romantic partner and neither should my partner have to parent me. I have to learn to parent myself, to give myself the love my mother didn't.

I think that bears repeating. Whatever love you didn't get in childhood is not the responsibility of a romantic partner.

I feel like this post is getting preachy. Or pedantic. Or just lame.

I feel like I'm not making my point well.

Maybe my ideas about love are naive. Maybe ignorance truly is bliss. But each of those situations above? I've been in. And that's not love.

Love is not a safety net, not something to fix our bruised and broken lives, not something to obsess over and cling to with desperation and fear. I don't think so anyway.

So I'll wait, thanks, for that real thing. For the love that blows me away.

amazing! 


check it!


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

let em burn

"Words" by Train

I'd give anything but I won't give up on you 
I'd say anything, but not goodbye 
I will run with your changes and I'm always on your side 
And there's not a word I've ever heard that would make me change my mind 

Words they'll try to shake you 
Don't let them break you 
Or stop your world from turning 
When words keep you from feeling good 
Use them as firewood and let them burn 

Like stones in your pocket people try to wear you down 
Someone always wants to take the love you've found 
So let's runs with these changes and I want you by my side 
And there's not a word I've ever heard that would make me change my mind 

Words they'll try to shake you 
Don't let them break you 
Or stop your world from turning 
When words keep you from feeling good 
Use them as firewood and let them burn 

Let them burn 
Let them burn 
Underneath every word somebody's heart been broken 
With or without words we try to forgive 

Words they'll try to shake us 
Don't let them break us 
Or stop our world from turning 
When words keep you from feeling good 
Use them as firewood and let them burn 

Words they'll try to shake you 
Don't let them break you 
Or stop your world, stop your world from turning round
When words keep you from feeling good 
Use them as firewood and let them burn 

Let them burn 
Let them burn 

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

fear is...

‎"Fearlessness is the total presence of fear, with the courage to face it."  OshO
i googled fearless and got taylor swift and colbie calliat song lyrics...one about the fearless high when falling in love. one about being fearless in moving on after the fallout of love. its always about love isn't it?.... 


definition is as "simple" as: free from fear . if only THAT were simple. if only simple were simple.....


my cousin recently posted this and i loved it: 

"But come here fear, 
I am alive. 
And you are so afraid of dying." 

i am not afraid of love. at all. i love love. i might be more afraid of loving....but then when i do i am usually pretty fearless with it. friend. lover. job. song. color. i just LOVE it.  maybe too much? 


free from fear... might be like free to feel. feel whatever it is. for quite possibly only the second time ever in my life i feel free to feel whatever i want to feel...and free of fear for what i may feel.


now to simply figure out what THAT is.  







Friday, November 12, 2010

ready or not....

Ready to Start, Arcade Fire


Businessmen drink my blood
Like the kids in art school said they would
And I guess I'll just begin again
You say can we still be friends

If I was scared 
I would
And if I was bored 
You know I would
And if I was yours 
But I'm not

All the kids have always known
That the emperor wears new clothes
But to bow to down to them anyway
Is better than to be alone

If I was scared 
I would
And if I was bored 
You know I would
And if I was yours 
But I'm not

Now you're knocking at my door
Saying please come out against the night
But I would rather be alone
Than pretend I feel alright
If the businessmen drink my blood
Like the kids in art school said they would
Then I guess I'll just begin again
You say can we still be friends

If I was scared 
I would
And if I was pure 
You know I would
And if I was yours 
But I'm not

Now I'm ready to start

If I was scared 
I would
And if I was pure 
You know I would
And if I was yours 
But I'm not

Now I'm ready to start
I would rather be wrong
Than live in the shadows of your song
My mind is open wide
And now I'm ready to start
Your mind surely opened the door
To step out into the dark
Now I'm ready