Sunday, October 3, 2010

october

october....

it hits me like a ton of bricks. i try to pretend/hope its not going to. but it does. (and with that a warning. this leans toward the more personal/raw of writings....)

to most its a pretty great month. oktoberfest (love the k), halloween, pumpkin everything, almost the holidays.... its event season so i am crazy busy at work which i generally like.... but its october. and so far, 6 years later, its still overwhelmingly "the month she died".

some people die in an instant. some people die in a day. they could look back and say "thats the day so and so died". yes, there was a day she died. and actually, i vividly recall the exact instant she died. but really, it was an entire month of hell of watching her slowly and painfully die. there is just no other way around it. for me. yet....

october, by u2, is one of the few songs that the music itself holds a greater impact than the lyrics. the words. in fact for years i loved the song and enjoyed the melody (....huh) alone. i did not even know the words until that year. october, 2004. how was it possible  -  such perfect words to that perfect sound.... it sounds how it feels....

the truth is -  this is one subject i don't think any words could really satisfy....

(please ignore the sorta cheesey but sorta fitting images in the video)



october
and the trees are stripped bare
of all they wear
what do I care
october
and kingdoms rise and kingdoms fall
but You go on
and on 


 and that is love....
our tree. stripped bare. sentinel dome, yosemite. 




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