(sort of) wordless wednesday

Crazy

Bought this yesterday. Good words.

stolen props

loved ms taryn's post today, was a perfect steal for word. check out her blog as she moves on up to SF! congrats and best wishes my friend! you're gonna blow sf's socks off! xo

the world to me

qotd

‎"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment."...Ralph Waldo Emerson

qotd

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." - Theodore Roosevelt

home.....

"home is where the heart is".....but what what makes your heart? what makes your home?....


things that have meant home for me:

• my family. especially my mom <3
• my friends and friends who have become family
• the (smell of the) beach
• THE 405 :)
• my kitty
• my childhood pound puppy
• my bed
• being in that certain someone's arms.
• behind closed doors
• the actual house i grew up in

some of these things remain. some do not. some of these are the same. some are not. all of these things still seem like home, but, they are no longer all in one place, or, all possible...


i don't know where my heart is, where my home is....


i do know where my memories are all. all in one place. it is very strange to be there and not feel home.


"home" 
foo fighters

Wish I were with you
I couldn't stay
Every direction
Leads me away
Pray for tomorrow
But for today

All I want is to be home

Stand in the mirror
You look the same
Just lookin' for shelter
From cold and the pain
Someone to cover
Safe from the rain

All I want is to be home

Echoes and silence
Patience and grace
All of these moments
I'll never replace
No fear of my heart
Absence of faith

All I want is to be home
Ooh
All I want is to be home

People I've loved
I have no regrets
Some I remember
Some I forget
Some of them living
Some of them dead

All I want is to be home 

HB (11.28.2009)

what, who, where is your home?....

don't quote me friend.....

i went looking for a quote about friendship the other day to post on my friend's wall. i have a handful of GIRL friends, females that is, that i am really close with and trust. i have somewhat adopted a nickname for each of them - one being my anchor, one my peace, one my solace.... i was looking for something for the peace one, who, at the time, needed some peace herself. 

i didn't find anything fitting, but i did find a lot of quotes touching on some things i have really been thinking about lately. that being the impact of your friends (or family), and their style of friendship...comparing, noting, questioning, examining.... i over think.... A LOT. 

"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” unknown

i have a lot of walls up. most of my closest relationships (friends, family, lovers...) have been people with a lot of walls up. i have always been, with those i love the most, happy to take a sledge hammer to your freaking walls. even as they continue to pile them up, or request that i stop. i just love demolition! well, and more so, re-construction.... admittedly, many, if not everyone at times, can't stand this about me. but, more times than not, i find people coming to me asking me to hammer at them. because i will. (or is this just my ego? speak up friends!!) there are different tools for different people. sometimes i may only be willing to use an ice pick. but if you're in it for life i'll come at you with a bull dozer.

i am not sure that i have any friends, or family, that are like me, like that. i have some ice picks, some maybe even some sledge hammers, and, some bricks have fallen. but i don't think i have any bull dozers. 

is that my own doing? one thing most people in my life seem to agree on about me is that i am strong and can get through anything. which i agree. i am. and i will. but a lot of that strength comes from the walls of brick surrounding me. and a really solid floor below me for the first 25 years of my life.     

sometimes i think it would be nice for someone to knock all the walls down with a bull dozer, then buy me all new material and rebuild. have i taken this metaphor too far?.... but instead, picture, a really poor area, with no bull dozers.or machinery of any kind. just a lot of brick walls and some (REALLY GREAT!) ice picks and sledge hammers.

on the same note: "A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." Arnold H. Glasow

“True friends stab you in the front.” Oscar Wilde. i really like this..... i have been hurt by plenty of people before. but when there is hurt without lies or deceit, the pain is so much more capable of being repaired. easily. i also think i say a lot of things to my loved ones that sting. stab straight to the heart. sometimes on purpose. but i think sometimes people need that. and its better to say it straight to them than behind their back....i have said some really hurtful things to some of my friends, but honestly, i haven't lost one from it. 

"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." Buddha

there are people in your life that you know what to expect from. they can't quite hurt you like the ones you trust and are betrayed by. lies are so damaging in a friendship, in any relationship. sure there are white lies and is my butt too big lies, but, those are sincere lies. i think this may be in part why i have always preferred? (had so many?....) male friends versus female. men are wild beasts! women, too often, insincere bitches ;) but.....wild beasts or evil more than a friend....those both can wound your heart..... 

stereotypes exist for a reason....: "Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces." Anne Morrow Lindberg

“The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other” Ashleigh Brilliant 

isn't funny how differently a lover's anything (circumstance, feelings, position, attitude, bad habit....) can affect you ten fold of any friend, no matter how much love there is? whatever happens in between friendship and love, the risk, the gift, is so much greater. something happens when that line is crossed. but, its almost unfortunate. how much better lovers we might be able to be if we could stay as unaffected by our lovers as we are our friends. question: is this the female in me? the over sensitive pisces in me? or is this, generally true. a female did say it....

as i pondered it all...i did come to a conclusion i felt settled with. and then i found a quote (without trying....) that really summed that up for me...

“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” Tennessee Williams

but not because it is our companions/family's responsibility to break down our walls, and i am not saying i should look specifically more for bull dozers. but i do believe the company you chose to keep plays a huge role on the type of person you want to be, aspire to be, are challenged to be. so in that lies your (oneself) responsibility to chose your own best company, in addition to being, your own best self.....

and on that note....:“There are three types of friends: those like food, without which you can't live; those like medicine, which you need occasionally; and those like an illness, which you never want.” unknown

:)

word foto! k+k

lost and found

‎"If you don't get lost, there's a chance you may never be found." ~ Author Unknown

qotd

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away."...HENRY DAVID THOREAU, Walden

i've never been good at climbing trees....

but i can sure hug the heck out of one!


"Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." ... Albert Einstein


i read this recently and it really struck me.... lately i have been really analyzing/contemplating  what makes someone "smart", or, "capable". what really defines smart? i've never been a believer that an education alone can make one smart. i wonder how much of one's abilities are limited or expanded (affected) merely by their own (or others) expectations of them.  


i grew up hearing  often that i was "bored" or not challenged in school and that was why i was so easily distracted or unfocused. other people made this excuse/justification for me long before i could. i was always "capable" of getting good grades, and, sometimes i did. but plenty of times i didn't. according to my parents that is because i did not apply myself. other people made this excuse/justification for me long before i could. its something that has carried into my life in almost every aspect. if i am not interested in something, i easily lose focus on it. and if something catches my attention, i can DIVE into it....but i often get bored soon enough and want a new challenge. i believe this is probably true for a lot of people, but, a lot of people still continue to "routinely" live their days and not seek additional challenges. isn't this the grown up mature thing to do? 


i have never been shy about saying i just wanna be a toys r us kid. or to bang on me drum all day! but i know this isn't realistic.....


there may be a few tree climbers looking down on me just simply hugging that tree and not climbing it, but i believe that somewhere, somehow, there is a way to live/have a career that will provide me a variety of challenges and change that will feel like i am playing. because that to me is truly genius.  

a perfectly timed qotd

this came up just now in my twitter feed and i found it very timely with last nights post:  


"when you define success on your own authentic terms, you're more than halfway to reaching it."...  ralph marston


oh ya. did i mention i joined the world of twitter? it wasn't necessarily by choice, but realization that i need to learn all the social media sites better. if you're actually reading this, feel free to follow me @kc4word. (or, i beg you please!)  i mostly retweet quotes or or funny things i read/overhear but would love for more interaction to keep my interest!

perfect by design.....

“Remind yourself. Nobody built like you, you design yourself” – Jay Z


jay z = genius. in so many ways.

what they said....

given to one of my best friends. and she is, it's true.

at the steps to one of the many places i stayed on my "couch tour" . 

found in a little town. i have other words for it... and i am called a bitch! ;)

given by a friend. not the same as above. i really have amazing friends. fact.

ya, i wood. so would eddie.

an amazing friend took this for me. i want this. car and license plate.  or "IAMGREY"  (disclaimer: this has NOTHING to do with grey's anatomy. which i love. but not like that....)

i totally disagree with this actually, but most my friends would say this is amazing! ;)

life without internet.....

is no life at all for a blogger!  


i am in transition as i move on to a new adventure....blog posts may be a little scarce the next two weeks. to the 2-3 people who might read this and be devastated at the lack of my posting ;) i'll be back on track sooner than later!


"Whatever you can do, or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it." ....Goethe

+/-

"You are a living magnet. What you attract into your life is in harmony with your dominant thoughts."... Brian Tracy 

and your mission, if you so chose to accept it....

"here is the test to find out whether or not your mission on earth is finished: if you are alive, it isn't"... richard bach

i am not sure what my mission is right now. but i am on a mission to find my mission...

courtesy of dept of defense website.....

genius = happiness squared...

i was sent this quote recently.....it got me thinking, and, off on a search to find out maybe what einstein's "goals" were. but i ended up just blown away by his geniusness on many a subject. not sure why i am so surprised... but i've now added a bunch of his books to my wish list! 

"If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things." - Einstein. 

more einstein genius:

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex... It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.

It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer. 

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.  

A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. 

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.

Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one. 

run lola run....

"you can out-distance that which is running after you, but not what is running inside you."...rwandan proverb

i have always loved running long distances. having a set goal, the end of that road, or this many laps or miles; challenging myself to a greater distance. loved the steady pace, the steady breathing, the pushing through the pain.  the ability to speed up to sweat out the anger or slow down and enjoy a moment. but there was always a beginning. an end. a goal i was certain of and could accomplish. and i ran to it.


life is a little more open ended then that. in case you hadn't noticed. how do you really know if you're running to something or away from something? is either right or wrong? and what is it that drives that run motivation? 


and maybe? maybe i could learn a lesson from my ortho surgeon who says not to run, just walk.....

sleep to dream...

"if you stop dreaming you are just asleep"....unknown

i loved this when i read it. then i sat and really thought about it. 

i have had some REALLY bad nightmares. and some REALLY good dreams. i'd always rather have a nightmare, because it's temporary. waking up to reality is usually better. not so much with a good dream...

sleep to dream

and sleep is such a peaceful, and necessary, state.....


and some people, are just dreamers. in the clouds....


where is the balance between dreaming and pursuing those dreams, and living in the now and the reality? how do you know what dreams are worth pursuing, risking, putting energy into? what if you pursue a dream for 15 years and nothing happens, are you wrong to give up? wrong to have pursued so long in the first place, or right for believing in your dream despite challenges or lack of success. i mean, i am guessing here that "man" had a dream to get to space for more than 15 years before it actually happened, right? 

dream within a dream

have you ever had the same dream twice? and in the dream realized you were dreaming? i think i have (had) that awake as well....

¹dream

 noun, often attributive \ˈdrēm\

Definition of DREAM

1

: a series of thoughts, images, or emotions occurring during sleep — compare rem sleep

2

: an experience of waking life having the characteristics of a dream: asa : a visionary creation of the imagination : daydreamb : a state of mind marked by abstraction or release from reality : reveriec : an object seen in a dreamlike state : vision

3

: something notable for its beauty, excellence, or enjoyable quality car is a dream to operate>

4

a : a strongly desired goal or purpose dream of becoming president>b : something that fully satisfies a wish : ideal dream>

fear is...

‎"Fearlessness is the total presence of fear, with the courage to face it."  OshO

i googled fearless and got taylor swift and colbie calliat song lyrics...one about the fearless high when falling in love. one about being fearless in moving on after the fallout of love. its always about love isn't it?.... 


definition is as "simple" as: free from fear . if only THAT were simple. if only simple were simple.....


my cousin recently posted this and i loved it: 

"But come here fear, 

I am alive. 

And you are so afraid of dying." 

i am not afraid of love. at all. i love love. i might be more afraid of loving....but then when i do i am usually pretty fearless with it. friend. lover. job. song. color. i just LOVE it.  maybe too much? 


free from fear... might be like free to feel. feel whatever it is. for quite possibly only the second time ever in my life i feel free to feel whatever i want to feel...and free of fear for what i may feel.


now to simply figure out what THAT is.