i went looking for a quote about friendship the other day to post on my friend's wall. i have a handful of GIRL friends, females that is, that i am really close with and trust. i have somewhat adopted a nickname for each of them - one being my anchor, one my peace, one my solace.... i was looking for something for the peace one, who, at the time, needed some peace herself.
i didn't find anything fitting, but i did find a lot of quotes touching on some things i have really been thinking about lately. that being the impact of your friends (or family), and their style of friendship...comparing, noting, questioning, examining.... i over think.... A LOT.
"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” unknown
i have a lot of walls up. most of my closest relationships (friends, family, lovers...) have been people with a lot of walls up. i have always been, with those i love the most, happy to take a sledge hammer to your freaking walls. even as they continue to pile them up, or request that i stop. i just love demolition! well, and more so, re-construction.... admittedly, many, if not everyone at times, can't stand this about me. but, more times than not, i find people coming to me asking me to hammer at them. because i will. (or is this just my ego? speak up friends!!) there are different tools for different people. sometimes i may only be willing to use an ice pick. but if you're in it for life i'll come at you with a bull dozer.
i am not sure that i have any friends, or family, that are like me, like that. i have some ice picks, some maybe even some sledge hammers, and, some bricks have fallen. but i don't think i have any bull dozers.
is that my own doing? one thing most people in my life seem to agree on about me is that i am strong and can get through anything. which i agree. i am. and i will. but a lot of that strength comes from the walls of brick surrounding me. and a really solid floor below me for the first 25 years of my life.
sometimes i think it would be nice for someone to knock all the walls down with a bull dozer, then buy me all new material and rebuild. have i taken this metaphor too far?.... but instead, picture, a really poor area, with no bull dozers.or machinery of any kind. just a lot of brick walls and some (REALLY GREAT!) ice picks and sledge hammers.
on the same note: "A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down." Arnold H. Glasow
“True friends stab you in the front.” Oscar Wilde. i really like this..... i have been hurt by plenty of people before. but when there is hurt without lies or deceit, the pain is so much more capable of being repaired. easily. i also think i say a lot of things to my loved ones that sting. stab straight to the heart. sometimes on purpose. but i think sometimes people need that. and its better to say it straight to them than behind their back....i have said some really hurtful things to some of my friends, but honestly, i haven't lost one from it.
"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind." Buddha
there are people in your life that you know what to expect from. they can't quite hurt you like the ones you trust and are betrayed by. lies are so damaging in a friendship, in any relationship. sure there are white lies and is my butt too big lies, but, those are sincere lies. i think this may be in part why i have always preferred? (had so many?....) male friends versus female. men are wild beasts! women, too often, insincere bitches ;) but.....wild beasts or evil more than a friend....those both can wound your heart.....
stereotypes exist for a reason....: "Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces." Anne Morrow Lindberg
“The difference between friendship and love is how much you can hurt each other” Ashleigh Brilliant
isn't funny how differently a lover's anything (circumstance, feelings, position, attitude, bad habit....) can affect you ten fold of any friend, no matter how much love there is? whatever happens in between friendship and love, the risk, the gift, is so much greater. something happens when that line is crossed. but, its almost unfortunate. how much better lovers we might be able to be if we could stay as unaffected by our lovers as we are our friends. question: is this the female in me? the over sensitive pisces in me? or is this, generally true. a female did say it....
as i pondered it all...i did come to a conclusion i felt settled with. and then i found a quote (without trying....) that really summed that up for me...
“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.” Tennessee Williams
but not because it is our companions/family's responsibility to break down our walls, and i am not saying i should look specifically more for bull dozers. but i do believe the company you chose to keep plays a huge role on the type of person you want to be, aspire to be, are challenged to be. so in that lies your (oneself) responsibility to chose your own best company, in addition to being, your own best self.....
and on that note....:“There are three types of friends: those like food, without which you can't live; those like medicine, which you need occasionally; and those like an illness, which you never want.” unknown
:)
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