the 5 w's. part 1: where

where have i been the last year? it would be easy if i only had to explain this to no one reading here, in regards to my lofty goals to post consistently and gain actual followers. but that is not the case. i assume (ok, i KNOW!) there are some friends and family who also wonder this and wouldn't mind an answer. and there are bill collectors as well. (its a sign of the times, right?.....). the thing is....a year is a long time. a year ago was a long time ago.

recap. just about a year ago i turned 32. to some this may be a no big deal number, but to me, this was a key year in "my plan" (queue dun dun dun dun...). you know what they say about making plans. well they say all sorts of things but mostly to summarize - i wouldn't bother.

to say the least - i was far from my intended goals of said plan. in order to have achieved my "marks" i would have had to be married, living in a house we owned, engaged in a successful career and ready for baby number 1 if not already pregnant or even having had a kid. (i was flexible in this all happening between 30 and 32. very flexible, right?!). let's just say i wasn't able to check one off the list. not even close.

i had been "on track" until about 29. somewhere in that year it all fell apart. or. i destroyed it? ...but anyways. from 30-32 i struggled to regain/maintain my momentum, my place in this world, my sense of anything making sense. in doing so i did a lot of things that didn't make sense. to me or anyone else. contradiction and hypocrite come to mind. among some other colorful words. i pretty much became my own worst enemy, arguing my own every moves and ignoring my inner voices. yes, those are plural.

as 32 approached, in true last minute procrastination style, i realized i really had to come up with another plan. or at least another short term plan because i had no idea what i wanted to do or where i would go next, seeing as though i had some how ended up so far from my intentions.

my silence began here. for as long as i could remember, i had answers. answers to questions like "how are you" and "what are you up to these days?". not only could i not answer those simple questions, i could;t answer "how's work", "how's the family" type questions, much less could i honestly answer opinionated questions on important and everyday issues. as certain as i was of everything i had planned and known for 32 years, i was as uncertain of all of it right then and there. i even had good reason to believe that the sky wasn't blue and the grass wasn't green. have you been to LA?

so to my non existing blog readers - that is where i was. not LA. but muted. how could i write, speak my mind,  if i didn't even believe what i was saying was the truth. i realize there may have been some value in freeing my mind in random rambles....and i did so. just not in such a public forum. not until i could (proudly, and with certainty) stand by what i said "on the record".

to be continued....

Imagination

(sort of) wordless wednesday

Crazy

Bought this yesterday. Good words.

pinterest

seriously. genius. first off, the name. pin+interest =pinterest. so simple.  i heart words!

if you don't, you may not want to, (say goodbye to the last remaining 5 mins of free time you have!) but really, you should. just don't say i didn't warn you.

check out my WORD board pinterest.com/kc4word/word/

stolen props

loved ms taryn's post today, was a perfect steal for word. check out her blog as she moves on up to SF! congrats and best wishes my friend! you're gonna blow sf's socks off! xo

the world to me

raw. rawr!